Disappointed

And here I thought things were going so smoothly for once.... Here's my quick version already written in my other journal:

ARRRRGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!! This is driving me nuts! Every time I think we've got our ducks lined up, someone shoots one off the lake!! DH stopped in at city hall yesterday and it's gonna cost us $3600 for the BUILDING PERMIT! Er... HELLO?! I must be really new to this cuz how the hell do you justify charging $6 per sq. foot???? OI!!! And the contractor that called yesterday was estimating over the phone that he thought that it was going to end up costing $70,000 to build the addition. And that it could be interesting trying to hire a digger/concrete guy cuz everyone is so busy. He also can't start until October some time. SIGH. This is getting so frustrating and worse... expensive!!! If it keeps going this way, we may end up just saying to heck with it and buying a new house instead. At the rate things are going (again), we may end up having nothing of either way done until next year. Which sucks since I was really hoping for some more space and the babies to have separate rooms so they can learn to sleep in beds instead of cribs (no room for beds in their room!) and a rec room for the kids to play in during winter. Even if we go back to deciding to buy a new house, there's nothing available to buy that's big enough right now. Wrong time of year. Everyone gets posted in the Spring so all the houses are on sale then. BOOOOOooooooo... And we have to come up with all these plans/dimensions/drawings/pics for the city to look at before they agree to a building permit. Ummmm... didn't we already get approved with the other thing we had to pay and wait for? And if they decide they don't like our plans, why did we have to bother with the other thing? And what business is what my house looks like inside is it of theirs???? I beginning to think I'd just like to put the blankets over my head and just let someone tell me what we're doing when everyone else finishes the bullsh*t. Jeez, got any more hoops for me to do loop-de-loops thru? It's like insurance companies and used car salesmen. I hate hate HATE when I feel like I'm being played for the most money possible. Especially when I feel the money I'm paying in isn't being used for anything but lining their pockets and paying for their fancy cars and vacations.

I don't understand the politics, nor do I have the patience for this kind of nonsense. I've cut 'friends' out who play these mental games. Now I have to deal with moronic businesses and companies who are going to play similar mental games only with money involved too? Am I doomed to be surrounded by the corrupt forever???? No wonder I hate polititions and financial institutions and insurance companies and car salesmen. How can one think it's okay to bilk someone out of money for their own advancement or gain? Haven't they ever been on the recieving end of it? Don't they feel guilty? I know that I'm not the only sucker on the planet but it doesn't make me feel any better. I hate getting my hopes up and my excitement up only to have it dashed and destroyed. It takes so much for me to allow myself to hope and dream. I've been hurt and disappointed too many times before. I was really starting to believe that things would come together and that I'd have the freedom to create a really nice space for us. I think for my own sanity and preservation, I'd better cut that short. I'd better save it for when things are finalized. Dreaming has no place in reality.