Complaining Again... :(

Here I am, complaining again. Told ya this was gonna be a place to bitch...
I'm hovering in a limbo of waiting. We've been stalled at the bank for two weeks now. Everything was supposed to be "done" yesterday and someone was supposed to have gotten ahold of us by now. Or not. We should know that a bank doesn't phone you when they have to give you money... only when they want it. DH was supposed to have phoned them before but either keeps forgetting or it gets put off til way too late. This is exactly why I said that he needed to do all this before he left the second time for Ontario. I'm frustrated enough that I'd do it myself. Problem? Yah, they won't talk to me. This isn't able have anything to do with me cuz of my screwed up credit rating from J. I can't even have a joint account with the ability to say yea or nay on something to do with the house because if J ends up getting sued and I get dragged into that or I file for bankruptcy or whatever, it can't affect DH's rating or accounts or the house. So here I sit. We can't get a building permit without the architectual plans. We can't get the architectual plans until we get money from the bank. I can't even hire a friggin' contractor to get us started without the damn building permit. I can see the north wind whipping the dead leaves from the trees. The tree in front of the house is increasingly bare. Fall is most definately here. Even though DH says the Farmer's Almanac is calling for a mild winter like we had last year, I am predicting a heavier one to make up for last year. My achy joints tell me so. I feel how cold the nights are becoming. I see the change of the wind and the feel of the air. I can feel the depth of chill in the grass when I step outside in bare feet to look at the dying plants in the yard. It is barely 10 degrees outside not counting the wind. I want to DO something - like continue designing the new rooms or get ready to start building the 1/4 bathroom - but then I feel like, what's the point? What's the point of wasting all that time when the bank may make it so that things can't be built until next year. If the bank denies the loan, we'll have to move anyways and again that won't happen until next year. Maybe I wouldn't be so annoyed if I hadn't kept saying that this was going to be the case if we didn't get things started sooner than later. How long is it gonna take to draw the architectual plans up? A week? Two weeks? Then when we finally get them and send them in to get our building plan, that takes another two weeks. Then we have to wait til someone can dig and pour the basement which is gonna take who knows how long cuz they're so busy. Even if it only takes two weeks (which I highly doubt) to get the digger/concrete out, it's still late late late to be starting. In two weeks, it will be October. In two after that it will be the middle of October. Two weeks after that, it will be November. If I am right and the almanac is wrong, we will be too late to start digging and pouring until next spring. And who's to say that because we need even more money than we originally asked for, it's not gonna take the bank another week besides to okay it??? I told DH that he should call the bank before they finished and let us know about this money coming but he wanted to wait until they let us know this stuff first. I cannot explain why I feel that it is/was the wrong decision but somewhere in my gut, I just have a feeling. I guess we'll see if I can trust the old gut still or not.
Needless to say, I am seriously frustrated. Almost to the point of angry today. DH said he'd let me know for sure one way or the other by 10AM this morning. So far, not even an email about it, which means either he's been too busy to call them (most likely) or he's been busy and forgot to phone them. I think I'm angry cuz I feel that it should have been done last week as soon as we figured that we were going to need more than we asked for. But most of it is because I am helpless to change it by just doing it myself. It would have been worse if I had just hung around waiting for DH to deal with the contractor too. But then again, it all comes back to having the money to do A-N-Y-T-H-I-N-G. I feel locked inside this house, dreading a winter where I have two toddlers running apeshit around the upstairs in the house cuz there's nowhere in this town that I can take them to play that has more room. Dairy Queen has a play place but they have to be 3 years old to play in it. The V&B has shut down for good now and so there is nothing indoors for them at all. I have NOWHERE to go and NOTHING to do with them. And now, it feels like, I won't even have a rec room for them to run freely around in. Instead, I have to live with constant mess and activity and craziness in my living room. And Squishy waking up Katie in the middle of the night or vice versa. No training them to beds cuz there's no room. Piles everywhere cuz there's no room left in the house. The living room/dining room is already overcrowded cuz there's nowhere to put the extra shelves and cupboards to hold six people's stuff. And winter to look forward to stuffed alone with small children in a too small house. I may end up going crazy after all...